So. Once again, I forgot that I had a tumblr. I’m convinced that it would be a really interesting blog if I actually remembered that I have one.
Anyways, yesterday I moved to Chicago from Naperville where I was staying with my boyfriend’s family for a few weeks. I was really excited to move downtown, but I totally underestimated how homesick and lonely I would be. I cried the night before I moved and all day yesterday after Rob dropped me off I just cried and cried and I didn’t really understand why. I just don’t like being in new places where I don’t know where anything is and I dont know anyone and I just feel so alone. None of my roommates were here, the rest of the floor was deserted, so I sat in my room and unpacked for like 6 hours. And just cried.
Okay, soooo call me a terrible human being, but I love seeing people screw up their lives when they made my life a living hell back in high school. Finally I get some sort of satisfaction out of their pain just like they did with the pain they caused me. I would never intentionally do something to hurt someone else or make someone feel bad about themselves because I know how that feels. And I do feel bad for saying that I’m kind of enjoying this…. but it’s almost like it’s payback without me actually doing anything to them. It’s also sad…. But i feel better now that in a year I’ll be a University of Illinois graduate, hopefully heading off to graduate school, without ever trying drugs, without ever being in trouble with the law, with a GPA that I’m proud of and that the university recognizes with my placement on the Dean’s list, and without a baby to hold me back. So many people have done things to completely screw up their lives and it just makes me feel better about my accomplishments and my morals. Once again, call me a terrible person, but….. okay i mean… i’m not finding pleasure in their pain? I guess? I just feel better about my life and where it’s headed in the next few years.